In The Land Of Sideways, Misty Rain & Occasional Sunshine

I always do this; start blogging again only to give up just a few weeks later. I used to convince myself it would be different this time, but at this point, I really can’t say that it will be any different. That, however, is not the main point of this post. Seattle, aka my new home, is the focus here today.

Around April 2016, I started feeling the need to do something new, live somewhere different. I wasn’t sure where I’d go, and I had no idea how I would explain my newfound desire to leave New York to my family and friends, but regardless of that I did some research and figured out where I wanted to set my focus on: Seattle. I applied to quite a few jobs, and heard back from a couple every few weeks, but being across the country made the interviewing and hiring process difficult, so I was easily overlooked as a candidate. I kept trying though, writing cover letter after cover letter. after a few weeks of that I knew I had to let my family in on my plans. As I suspected, no one was too thrilled about my decision. It was hard to explain why I felt the need to move, and I know some of my family members took it personally, which is definitely was not. this move was about me, for me.

Weeks and a couple of phone interviews went by, and in late July, I had a Skype interview with a company. I thought the interview went well, and I was figured if I did get a call back I would have to fly to Seattle for an in-person meeting. I was pleasantly surprised when I was called back a few days later with a job offer. If I accepted, I would start my new role in 3 weeks, just enough time to give my two weeks notice and get my car out to Washington. This was it, the moment I had been waiting for, finally coming through. I thanked the office manager for the opportunity and accepted the position. 

My mom was the first person I saw after the call. my mother is the strongest woman I know, and I could count one hand how many times I’ve seen her cry, so when she started crying when I told her my big news, it naturally led to a sob fest between us both. (Unlike my mother, I cry over everything. I’m tearing up now just thinking about it.) Despite her tears, she managed to choke out words of support and encouragement, and I know that was not an easy thing for her to do. 

Telling the rest of my family and friends was a bit easier, though there were mixed reactions between “yay congrats, a new job!” and “holy sh*t, you’re moving across the country”. Yet through all their own doubts and disappointment about me leaving New York, my family did their best to support me, which meant the world to me. 

I shipped my car out, gave my two weeks notice at work, and said goodbye to my life in New York. As the plane was taking off I started freaking out, wondering if I was making a terrible mistake, but it was too late; I couldn’t turn back now. When I landed in Seattle, I was picked up at the airport by Dalton’s mom. Since she lives alone she offered for me to stay with her for a few weeks while I looked for my own place, which was such a blessing. What was supposed to be just 6 weeks of living with Lisa, my super cool roommate/ boyfriend’s mother (weird, I know) has now turned in to 6 months. It turns out that we get along pretty great and don’t mind each other’s company (actually, I think it’s safe to say we prefer each other’s company, but maybe that’s just me) so Lisa offered for me to stay with her indefinitely, until I felt the need to move out on my own, which has not happened, and she hasn’t kicked me out yet so I think we’re good. We spend our Friday nights drinking wine and falling asleep on the couch by 9:45. We’re quite the roommates; she’s kind of amazing. Also I get to live with 3 dogs, so that’s pretty cool too.

I love living in Washington, more than I ever even thought I would. I figured I’d like it, maybe, hopefully, but I didn’t think I would fall in love with it the way I have. It feels like home, which is crazy to say since no place but New York has ever felt like home, but this feels right, and I have no regrets about moving out here. I love my job and the company I work for. It’ll be 6 months since I started working there, and during that time I’ve already gotten a promotion. It feels great to finally be appreciated and valued for my hard work, and I love working for a company that treats its employees right. I’ve made a few friends at my job, but I’ll save that topic for another time.

As for my family and friends, I think they’re finally coming to understand my move out here. It’s not easy being away from my family though. I feel it most on Sundays, the day we would go to church and all have breakfast. It’s honestly harder than I thought it would be, but I’m getting used to it, and I’m so grateful for FaceTime and Skype that allows me to keep in touch and see their faces on a regular basis. 

Throughout it all, my boyfriend Dalton has been incredibly supportive. He knew how much I wanted this, and I’ll always be grateful for his love and support during this time, despite all the changes he’s been going through himself. He moved to my side of the country while I moved to his, and while it hasn’t been easy being apart and dealing with the different time zones, as cliché as it sounds, I really do believe this has only made us that much stronger as a couple.

As for myself, it’s weird to even type this out but I’m proud of myself for taking the chance, jumping ship into the unexpected and doing something new and different. It was scary to say the least, but it’s been a great journey so far and I’m pleased with the direction my life has turned. 

Anyway, this was a bit longer than I planned but I had a lot to catch up on. So that’s my story! I’ll try to be better about updating regularly, and possibly talking about my adventures out here in Seattle, but ya know, no promises! 

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View from my office rooftop!

Another Year Over

I cannot tell you how happy I am to say goodbye to 2014. This year has been the most physically and emotionally challenging year of my life. I’ve been anticipating this day for months now, everything that went wrong this year haunting me constantly, almost making me forget all the amazing things that happened this year.

Yes, this year was difficult as hell and life through me some curve balls that I was not expecting, but despite all of that, I also had some successful moments. I got to travel for work, I made new friends from all over the country (and world, too!) via tumblr, I got my finances mostly in order by learning how to effectively manage my income and budget, I took a calligraphy course I’ve wanted to do for a while now, and I modeled in a special holiday photo shoot for one of my favorite women’s magazine, Verily Magazine. The photo shoot took place in Metropolitan Building in Long Island City, which is where magazines like Vogue and Elle, amongst others, shoot often. It was pretty surreal!

I also saved up enough money for my trip to Europe this coming Spring, a graduation gift to myself. On that note, I am officially eight (eight!!!!!!) weeks away from having my bachelor’s degree. I signed up for the graduation conferral yesterday and I still can’t believe it. None of it feels real. I can’t imagine what life is going to be like once I’m finally done with school, but I’ll climb that wall when I get to it.

Oh, and I learned how to make ribs! I don’t mean to toot my own horn here, but the ribs I make are pretty freaking delicious. I’m quite proud of myself for that! All thanks to the recipe my boss’s wife shared with me. That changed my life. I see a lot of rib-eating in my future.

I realized that when I focus on the good, the bad doesn’t seem so big or relevant any more. I learned from those awful moments, definitely, but I also have to learn how to move on and learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of others, that way I can have more time and energy to focus on the amazing reality that is life. Not every moment is going to be great, but that’s life.

I am not one for resolutions. I refuse to give into the hype of making a promise to myself only to give up within 6 weeks. It’s just setting myself up for disappointment; but I do like making a general list of what I would like to do throughout the entire new year, and if i get to it, great! But if I don’t, there’s always next year. I don’t know what 2015 has in store for me. To be honest, I’m a little nervous about it. There’s a lot of change coming up, and thinking about it freaks me out. I do know one thing though, thanks to the love and support of my family and friends, I made it through this year, so I can make it through whatever the following year plans on throwing my way.

I should probably update this blog more, I’m clearly lousy at that. But I refuse to say I’m going to do it on a regular basis: that never works for me! I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year filled with love, laughter and lots of wine. Thank you for following along with me and listening to my ramblings. Y’all are the bees knees!

P.S. You can see the holiday photo shoot I was fortunate to be a part of here: http://verilymag.com/holiday-party-wear-style-trends-winter-2014/ 

Dusting Myself Off

April and May were really difficult months and I am so glad May is finally over. I’m looking forward to June and have decided that despite the struggles of the last two months, only I can make the conscious decision to get over it. So that’s what I’m doing. I could sit here and say that I’m going to work out every day, eat healthy, cut back on junk food, spend less time online, but that’s not my plan. Not for now anyway. For now, I want to focus on getting rid of the negativity within me, as well as around me. This will be difficult because first and foremost, I hate confrontation and would rather keep something that is bothering me to myself instead of facing it head first, but if that’s what it’s going to take to start anew, then that’s what I’m going to do. Only I can make myself happy, or allow others to make me happy. I can, however, easily give others the power to bring me down and I’ve done so in the past one too many times, so enough of that. I think it’s time for me to pick myself up and dust myself off. Fortunately, despite all the challenges and difficulties experienced, I have a supportive boyfriend beside me (metaphorically speaking, for now; darn long distance relationship stuff). Being apart only adds to our challenges, but the way I see it now is, if there is no hurdle to jump over, what is the point of the reward? This distance thing is only temporary. But I’m not focusing on that. For now, I’m just focusing on the here and now, and making sure that I make it to my destination. It’s quite the journey, but I know that with the support of J and all those who love me, I will make to where I want to me. 

Challenged

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not 100% sure how well that works, or what that even means for that matter, but I am always so amazed at the challenges life seems to throw my way. Life is going great, everything is smooth sailing, and then BAM! I’m faced with a life-altering challenge. It happens every time. You’d think I would be used to it at this point, but for some reason, it always catches me by surprise. I make plans, think they’re great and all is going to happen as I plan, and ta-da! It doesn’t.

It is so discouraging. Sometimes I just want to give up on everything, stop trying so hard, and move on to something new. A new city. A new identity. A new life. A new everything. That would be nice. It seems like a great idea, at the moment, anyway. I say that now because things have been so hard, but in reality, I know that running away from my problems or pretending they don’t exist won’t solve anything. Life is difficult. But I guess that’s the point of living a good life. If there aren’t any challenges, how will I be able to appreciate the good, beautiful moments in my life? I need to remind myself this every day, lately more than ever before. If it were all lovely and easy at all times, would I complain that my life is predictable and boring? If I’m being totally honest with myself, yes, I would.

So yeah, life can really suck sometimes. There are times when I must have conversations I would rather avoid and make decisions that I dread, but c’est la vie, ain’t it? It’s all a bump in the long road that is life. Bumps are temporary. After all, le vie est belle. I have to remember that.