21 days. Three weeks. That’s the amount of time left before J ships off to basic training. I knew this time was coming and now that it is almost here, I feel eerily calm. Sometimes, when I let my thoughts run wild, I freak myself out but I want to believe that I’m fine with it all. Honestly, I want the day to come already. The anticipation and talk of it all can be so overwhelming at times. I know it is going to be very difficult when he leaves, but I’ve been (trying!) to mental prepare myself for it. I’m imagining how it will feel when he’s actually gone but I guess I won’t know what that feels like until he’s shipped off.
And it is oh so scary. I know we’ll be okay, and I’m not worried about our relationship or anything like that, but I think what I’m scared about it starting this new chapter in our lives. His departure affects both of our lives in different ways, and we will have to deal with all the change while we’re apart. We won’t see each other or speak as often as we do now, but I’d like to think that somehow, that will make us stronger. At least I hope and pray that it does.
One thing I do know is that we will be fine. We won’t be in the same state anymore, and we won’t be able to talk everyday or even every week, but we’ve had these wonderful 10 months that we’ve been dating. We have beautiful memories together. Every moment spent together has been special to us, especially since we knew the day for him to leave would be coming soon enough. So after 10 months of getting to know each other, making memories and falling in love, what will a few months without seeing each other be?
Difficult. Painful. Lonely. But worth it.