I never thought the day would come when I would admit that…I am stressed. Like stressed the heck out. I can’t sleep, my appetite is wonked and I’m paranoid that I’m going to fail and ruin everything. Things have changed a bit for me with work (more responsibilities) and with a 3 hour daily commute to and from work, I have very little time to focus on my online classes. I guess I do have a lot on my plate right now, but I’ve always pictured myself as someone who could possibly get stressed. I mean, really? Me? Why should I be stressed?
My problem, however, isn’t that I have a lot going on. I always have a lot going on. The real problem here is that I don’t know how to properly balance it all without overwhelming myself. I take things way too seriously when it comes to my work. I wouldn’t even be here admitting that I have a problem if it weren’t for the fact that I keep making mistakes. Mistakes at work. Mistakes with my school work. My performance is going down and that is something that really bugs me. One of my biggest fears in life is failure. (Aside from getting eaten alive by a shark or dying in an airplane crash, but lets not even go there right now.)
So in light of my little issue, I turned to the one person who always knows exactly what to tell me: my momma. ( Mother knows best) And what did my dear old lady say? She said I need to calm the freak down. Okay, maybe she didn’t say it like that but she did say that I need to find a balance between work and everything else that I have to do. What happens at work, and all things work-related, should stay at work. She also said that I have to lower my own performance expectations when it comes to work. Since the most important thing in my life should be graduating with my degree in creative writing, work and all its hubbub should not be affecting me so much, so I need to do just what I can at work. Not more, not less.
Of course, this is all easier said than done. I’m going to take one day at a time, and try not to take things too personally or let them affect me so much. Or maybe it’s just time that I ask for a raise?